Prepare your arteries for the “Crazy Scary” Burger Challenge

You're going to be hard pressed to find a burger like this outside of Mo's Family Restaurant.
You’re going to be hard pressed to find a burger like this outside of Mo’s Family Restaurant.

STORY BY CAIT CARTER

Want to be the “burger king”? Forget fast food. Order the “Crazy Scary” burger challenge at Mo’s Family Restaurant instead.

It’s an experience you won’t forget.

Reading the menu and seeing that Mo’s has an option for practically everyone convinces you that perhaps there’s something else you might want to order. Perhaps you’ll have chicken souvlaki tonight, or veal parmesan with pasta. Maybe just a grilled cheese or even some all-day breakfast will do.

But that $25 burger sounds so good. Three homemade patties, caramelized onions, sautéed mushrooms, cheese and peameal bacon – how could you say no?

You don’t. And for safety, you bring a partner to join you on your quest to defeat the burger.

Our server told us no one had ever ordered the challenge to share before. But it’s something they’re happy to serve. The only change is they won’t offer you the double portion of poutine that usually accompanies the meal. Instead, you get a side dish of fries or salad.

Or a double order of poutine, if you’d like to pay.

Being a Friday night, Mo’s was busy. The wait was about an hour, but that can be blamed on the fact that we had just ordered a burger with three homemade patties.

Mo’s is generally fast on any other day – their Sunday breakfast is especially quick – but the challenge deserves a little more time.

And boy, did this thing look like a challenge.

The nine-inch-tall burger arrived with ketchup, mustard, mayo and relish alongside an order of fries.

This burger was a work of art. Cheese melted over the patties while caramelized onions oozed from the tower of a burger.

It’s common knowledge that a burger is good when it looks messy, and this champion was no exception.

You don’t even want to try digging into this as is. The giant scares your mouth away as you try to approach it from every side. Just do the smart thing, and go at it with a knife and fork.

The first thing you’re likely to notice about the burger is that while the patties are decent, they’re made to test you. The burger is dense, and gets more difficult to eat as you go.

But combined together, the bacon, cheese, onions and burger just tastes better and better.

The peameal bacon was a perfect choice for this burger, being more akin to ham than bacon. It has a less of a fatty flavour to it. It’s not as crispy as regular bacon, but this burger didn’t need anything crispy.

The caramelized onions were a perfect add-on, lending an awesomely sweet flavour to what could be an otherwise salty burger.

The cheese was standard cheddar, melted and delicious, but the bun was plain. Lettuce and tomato made a visit to the tower, but never really stood out. We threw them on to a side plate to make room for all the delicious goodies Mo had provided. And even then, we didn’t finish the plate.

While the burger wasn’t necessarily the best I’d ever had, it was remarkably good for being something that is meant to scare people.

I’d order it again to share with friends, if only just to see their faces as it arrives at the table.

It’s a spectacle that you can’t experience twice.