Can one little word help stop campus sex assaults?


The new ‘Yes means Yes’ law that was passed in California in August is about young adults giving verbal or very clear non-verbal consent to sexual activity. Universities in California are now required to teach students why an affirmative ‘Yes’ is important and what non-verbal consent looks like. Students who are drugged or intoxicated are not eligible to give any consent to sex and university officials and police are to ask what stages of consent were established.





I remember when sex was supposed to be spontaneous, passionate and fun. What happened?

With the new bill in California, colleges and universities that receive state funding must adopt a policy of “affirmative consent” or risk losing that funding. Affirmative consent is something that happens before any kind of sexual congress is made. In the words of the bill, this means the word “yes” must be uttered, or very clear non-verbal signs like leaning into one’s partner. Sounds simple, right?

What the bill doesn’t take into consideration is one rather small, easily missed detail: human sex doesn’t work like that.

Imagine for a moment that you’re with somebody you’re really into. You’ve had a great time and from the looks of things, you’re going to end the night with a bang. Just when things are about to get steamy, your partner stops. “Oh, wait a second. Is this really okay? Can we continue?” They haven’t even kissed you yet.

Now some clothes have found their way to the floor and your partner stops again. “Hey, uh, are you really sure you want to do this?” They won’t even touch you before a nod.

Now things are heating up, their hands are on you and you’re starting to get into it. “Sorry, are you really sure we can do this?” The constant interruptions put you off and you roll over. Affirmative consent.

This new policy is in no way related to the reality of sex and human relationships. It’s a devious plan hatched in the minds of reptiles that call themselves feminists, which demonizes the sexuality of both men and women in the name of protecting people from sexual assault. This plan will frustrate unsuspecting men with police pounding on the door after an otherwise normal encounter and frustrate women because they won’t be able to find a man willing to risk jail time just to get laid. Passion is going to die a slow death, and it will die in the courtroom instead of the bedroom.

A skit on Chappelle’s Show once centred on Dave Chappelle about to spend the night with a lady friend. Before things get out of hand, he turns over and produces a stack of papers instead of a condom: the Lover’s Contract. He insists this woman must agree to the terms and conditions of their up-and-coming encounter and sign her name here, here and here.

I never thought I’d live to see the day where comedy and parody would become reality.



My hope for this new law is that it will make people (not just men) think twice before spiking someone’s drink or trying to get someone so drunk that they will say ‘yes’ to sex.

When I first read that consent could be something as simple as “leaning in” to the other person, I immediately thought “Um, won’t that be taken out of context?” but after reading more about it, it’s explained that each person must consent at every stage of an encounter. A ‘yes’ to a kiss does not count as a ‘yes’ to sexual intercourse.

Officials reporting to the scene of a rape incident must now ask whether both parties had a conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity, as opposed to asking a victim how forcefully they said “no.”

Another great thing about this law is that universities now HAVE to talk about how consent is mandatory and what proper non-verbal consent looks like, to all students, both male and female. I really hope this will help young adults want to talk about sex and what they actually like in bed. Aaah communication: the sex and dating world will greatly benefit from that simple act of looking into another person’s eyes and talking about what makes them happy… in the way of physical intimacy, but that’s always a big scare for a lot of people.

Think of where this could lead, not just in safe sex in college, but relationships in general. I can’t tell you how many couples I know who NEVER talk about their problems in the relationship or in the bedroom. Then they get into a huge fight, they say things they don’t mean and they break up and lose a great person in their life, all because of lack of COMMUNICATION!

But that’s not what’s important about this law, it’s just a happy bonus prize. The important thing is that now people will talk about sex, what they actually want and don’t want and hopefully there will be fewer sexual assaults and rapes at the college parties we all love to go to.

I’m glad this law is in effect, and I hope more states, and eventually Canada, will soon establish a law like this, not just to better our fun with hooking up with a random person and having an awesome one-night fling, but also to make our relationships healthier.


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