Looking for love in the Tinder jungle
Illustration by Olivia Jo.
STORY BY STEPHANIE ALBA
Tinder – this generation’s matchmaker, helps users scan those ready to mingle within their area.
A simple signup through your Facebook profile makes the app hard to resist, but unlike other online dating sites that match your interests with a hopeful single, Tinder is based solely on your selfie.
Your phone’s GPS tracks down nearby Tinder users, and a quick swipe to the right makes you a match, giving you the opportunity to chat with endless possibilities.
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Cameron Rowley, 21, a Canadian model in Singapore, played the game of Tinder to find something unexpected.
“I thought it was incredible that technology has made internet dating so easily accessible for a large number of people,” said Rowley.
My week-long Tinder experience was definitely interesting, to say the least. Although I wasn’t new to Tinder, I had never used it as excessively as I did last week.
I decided to use the alias Veronica Santos, since I’m paranoid I’d one day run into my “matches”.
It was a definite ego boost whenever I was paired with someone attractive.
“It’s really fun to see all your matches. It makes you feel good that someone out there thinks you’re cute or attractive. It made me feel fuzzy inside,” Rowley said.
I didn’t know what to expect, but based on first impressions it sure did shock me. I chose who I liked carefully, thinking “If I like every guy, I’ll obviously get rude messages right off the bat.”
Boy was I wrong.
About 90 per cent of men I matched with either started or ended a conversation with a sexual question.
One clever man sent me a sweet poem, “Roses are red, violets are blue, we met on Tinder, when can I ____ you?”
Whenever they actually seemed interested in me as a person, I thought, “Hmm maybe he’s a genuinely nice guy.” Of course, I was quickly disappointed with that one degrading question.
I immediately stopped after three or four conversations with them; in that moment I lost all hope for Tinder men.
In reality, no one would really ask you such disrespectful questions, unless they are a jerk. But because it’s all done through an app, they find the confidence behind the screen to be upfront about what they really want.
Thankfully, people like Rowley give me hope.
“What we talked about varied from person to person,” Rowley explained about his matches. “Whether it be school, interests, hobbies or just sharing jokes and funny things between each other. I rarely ever got sexual on Tinder.”
Rowley explored his options.
“Personally, I’m open-minded. If something got serious, then I would accept that and roll with it. I didn’t get Tinder in the hopes that I would find my future wife or girlfriend. Although, the notion of it possibly getting to that point was exciting,” Rowley said.
And sure enough, Rowley found love on Tinder.
Once they matched, he found that she was going to the Ontario College of Art and Design and messaged his girlfriend to be.
“My first message on Tinder was ‘Hey, how’s OCAD?’ I was interested in her art background because I’m a painter,” said Rowley, a former OCAD student himself.
Although she wanted to meet him the night they first spoke, Rowley was reluctant.
“I was busy, hesitant, and nervous. We still joke about how I blew her off a couple times. Had I not seen her the night I did, I think it was her last time trying to get me out,” said Rowley
It took three weeks for them to meet for their first date at Trinity Bellwoods Park in Toronto.
“The first date was Tinder typical. It was late and we were both kind of drunk. We had an amazing chat and great experience with each other,” said Rowley. The two are still together, even though he’s now in Singapore.
Though Tinder can be sometimes be disgusting, it’s still a dating site where people can possibly find love.
“Success is based on who you are, how you handle yourself and whether the person you’re chatting with embraces you. Whether it’s successful or not, it depends on your chemistry as two people. I think after my experience of meeting someone I really love – it’s fantastic and convenient,” said Rowley.
Or like me, use it as ego-boosting game if you’re ever feeling down.
“If I was single I would certainly use it. Meeting new people is fun, whether it be educating, interesting or relationship searching – it’s all a growing experience. I value that,” Rowley said.
