Long-distance love: tough, but possible

Emily Weibe with her long-distance boyfriend, Dalton Vyse pose for a photo at the Springwater Conversation Area in Aylmer, Ont. (Photo courtesy of Emily Weibe)

STORY BY OLIVIA LITTLE

Relationships can be hard and if you don’t live in the same country as the person you’re dating, it becomes even tougher. But are long distance relationships doomed?

“It’s hard but it’s not impossible,” said Emily Weibe, 18, a first-year Bachelor of Design student who has been living two hours away from her boyfriend of two years, since she started school in September.

“A lot of the time people think long-distance relationships won’t work so they don’t even bother putting in an effort and that’s when things fall through,” she said.

“Trust is also a big factor in long-distance relationships. Without it the relationship will definitely fail whether it’s long distance or not.”

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Weibe says texting can be the cause for many problems and it’s always better to find time to talk in another way.

“Texting isn’t the same cause you’re not able to see them or hear their voice. It’s always nice to make time every week, like have a certain day, where you can Facetime with them or talk on the phone,” she said.

“That helps a lot, rather than just texting all the time, cause that leads to a lot of miscommunication and fights.”

Alyse Nishimura, a counsellor at Sheridan College, doesn’t agree with the stigma around long-distance relationships.

She says that they can be positive for students because those who are in long- distance relationships have somebody to call and talk to, so that they receive added support while at school.

And if both parties outline their expectations beforehand, they don’t always have to fail.

“If they’re clear on things like whether they’re going to be exclusive, how they’ll keep in touch, how often they’ll keep in touch and visit, it doesn’t have to be the negative stereotype.”

Nishimura says that recognizing that there will be challenges is key in making these relationships work.

Oliver Coulson, 28, a second-year Accounting student, has been in a couple of long-distance relationships in the past and has experienced first-hand how important it is to set goals for yourself.

“The trick is communication. It sounds so basic but it can be harder than you think to focus on. You may think it’s okay, but it may not be. That’s what happened to me and by the time we did move in together, it fell apart immediately,” said Coulson.

He says that if you know who you are and where you’re going in life, it can be a good thing.

“If you’re old enough and if you’ve learned enough, I think you can do it, but you both have to be on the ball.”

Maryam Ali, 18, first-year General Arts and Science, has been living apart from her boyfriend for two years. He lives in Illinois and she only sees him three times a year. “People always generalize it, saying long-distance relationships are so hard and it’s just useless but you cant just put things into two groups, saying it’s either going to be so easy or it’s going to be so hard. There’s always a bit of everything,” said Ali. “If you love someone enough, you’ll find a way to cope.”